Rethinking the Church | When Love Gets Difficult

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be children of your Father in heaven, for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the gentiles do the same? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48 (NRSVUE)

Let's be honest: some people are easier to love than others. It's not too difficult to love your closest friends, your supportive family members, or the people who are kind to you. But Jesus doesn't stop there. He calls us to love even the people who mistreat us, who oppose us, who make our lives more difficult.

This might be the most challenging aspect of the work of the church. It's one thing to be patient with someone who's having a bad day. It's another thing entirely to show love to someone who's been consistently unkind to you, who's treated you unfairly, or who seems determined to make your life harder.

But Jesus doesn't give us this command to make our lives more difficult. He gives it to us because he knows that this kind of love has the power to transform both us and the people around us. When we respond to hatred with love, to cruelty with kindness, to rejection with acceptance, we're demonstrating something supernatural—something that can only come from God.

This doesn't mean we become doormats or allow people to take advantage of us. It doesn't mean we ignore injustice or fail to set appropriate boundaries. But it does mean that our response to difficult people is guided by love rather than by retaliation, revenge, or bitterness.

Jesus points out that God himself demonstrates this kind of love. The sun rises on both good and evil people. Rain falls on both the righteous and the unrighteous. God's love isn't conditional on people deserving it or earning it. It flows freely to everyone, regardless of how they respond to him.

What does this look like practically? It might mean praying for the coworker who takes credit for your ideas instead of talking badly about them behind their back. It might mean responding with patience to the family member who always criticizes you instead of defending yourself or striking back. It might mean offering help to someone who's been unkind to you when they're going through a difficult time.

This kind of love is only possible when we remember that we ourselves have been loved by God despite our own failures, mistakes, and shortcomings. When we remember how much grace we've received, it becomes easier to extend grace to others.

The work of the church includes loving the unlovable, forgiving the unforgivable, and showing grace to the ungracious. This isn't easy work, but it's transformative work—both for us and for the people we encounter.

Prayer: Jesus, this kind of love seems impossible to us. We struggle to love even some of the people who are kind to us, much less those who mistreat us. But we know that you loved us while we were still your enemies, and you call us to that same kind of radical love. Give us the strength, wisdom, and grace to love the difficult people in our lives. Help us see them as you see them, and help us respond to them as you would respond. Transform our hearts so that love becomes our first response, even in challenging situations. Amen.