Rethinking the Church | What Love Looks Like

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable; it keeps no record of wrongs; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NRSVUE)

We use the word "love" for everything. We love pizza and we love our spouses. We love our favorite TV shows and we love our children. We love sunny weather and we love our closest friends. With such broad usage, it's easy to wonder what Jesus actually meant when he told us to love God and love our neighbors.

Fortunately, Paul gives us a detailed description of what biblical love looks like in action. And notice something important: Paul doesn't describe love as a feeling. He describes love as a way of acting, a way of choosing to respond to people and situations.

Love is patient. The Greek word Paul uses literally means "long-suffering" or "slow to anger." This isn't about waiting in line at the grocery store without getting frustrated. This is about choosing to love someone even when they've disappointed you for the hundredth time, even when every part of you wants to give up on them.

Love is kind. Paul uses this word as a verb, not just an adjective. Love actively does kind things. It sees needs and responds to them, even when it's inconvenient. Love doesn't just feel warmly toward people—it acts on their behalf.

Love isn't jealous or envious. It doesn't feel threatened by other people's success or good fortune. Instead of thinking, "If they win, I lose," love says, "When you succeed, we all benefit."

Love doesn't brag or act arrogantly. It doesn't need to be the center of attention or prove how important it is. Love makes other people feel valued and significant.

Love isn't rude—it treats people with dignity, especially when disagreeing with them or when they can't do anything for us in return.

Love doesn't always insist on its own way. It can let other people win sometimes because it cares more about relationships than about being right.

Love isn't easily irritated. It doesn't let someone else's bad day become your bad day. It doesn't turn sharp when provoked.

Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. It doesn't maintain a mental ledger of every time someone has hurt or disappointed you. Love forgives and actually lets go.

Love celebrates truth and justice rather than taking pleasure when things go wrong for people we don't like.

And love doesn't give up. It keeps believing that people can change, that relationships can be restored, that tomorrow can be better than today.

This is what the work of the church looks like in practical terms. This is how we love God and love our neighbors. It's not about having warm feelings toward everyone—it's about choosing to treat people this way regardless of how we feel about them or how they treat us.

Prayer: God, your description of love both inspires and convicts us. We see how far short we fall of loving this way, and we need your help. Teach us to be patient when we want to be irritated, kind when we want to be selfish, and forgiving when we want to keep score. Transform our hearts so that this kind of love becomes natural for us, not just an effort of willpower. Make us people who demonstrate your love in tangible ways. Amen.